Dir. Glen Morgan
Writ. Glen Morgan
Act. Katie Cassidy, Michelle Tractenberg, Kristen Cloke, Crystal Lowe

The endless remakes of 70's horror movies continue with the remake of the controversial 1974 movie of the same name, Black Christmas. This movie is yet another example of why horror movies in Hollywood should really stop being made. Sure, they may make some money but when the movies you produce keep sucking eventually people will stop going to them and then you wont be making money anymore. Anyway, the only reason I wanted to see this is because a Buffy the Vampire Slayer alum was in the movie, but she dies so that didn't make me happy either. This is yet another waist of one hour and thirty minutes of my life not to mention the $5 on the rental.

So in the remake, a bunch of sorority girls are stuck in their house on Christmas Eve and each one gets killed one by one. They discover that the house was once the scene of a gruesome murder of a mother by her son. So it is a race for the for the remaining girls not to get out of the house but to find out who is doing it before they all die. Of course it would be smarter to just leave the house and call for help but hey I didn't write the movie.

This movie had all of the standards necessary for a horror movie, dumb hot chicks screaming at every turn, things popping out of corners, closets and underneath beds etc. What little gore there is was unnecessary but that appears to be a standard in the horror movie business. The only thing that I will give as a positive for the movie is that they do a decent job of explaining how the killer became one. The back story was the only thing keeping me mildly involved in the movie. I do like the fact that the killer appears to be human and not going to return from his death. I also liked the end credits music being a famous Christmas song, it reminded me of the ending to American Werewolf in London when the ending was Blue Moon. Too bad this movie wasn't any where as good as that movie.

Where was the mass sorority girl lesbian scene? No, not so much as a bared nipple in this movie so there is another strike against the movie. There were hot chicks around every corner getting slaughtered but isn't there a movie standard about nudity in these movies. It didn't even have to be the Buffy chick Michelle Trachtenberg but someone would have been nice.

I remember that right before this movie came out, there was an uproar from the conservative right in America about this movie and its release date etc. This movie is so bad that if they had just ignored it, the movie probably would have been pulled after two weeks, but because they couldn't keep their mouth shut, the movie made money. Then again maybe it wasn't the Christian conservatives bitching about the movie but the producers because they knew how bad it sucked.

If you are going to watch a horror movie and your choices are this movie, The Hills have Eyes 2, and Primeval, stay at home and do your taxes. That should be enough horror for anyone.

Brian - the Naked Gun