Dir. Uwe Boll
Writ. Guinevere Turner
Act. Kristanna Lokken, Michael Madsen, Ben Kingsley, Michelle Rodriquez

I freely admit that when I was 13 years old, way back in the early 80's, I played a game called Dungeons & Dragons. It was fun to imagine another place and another time being a big studly fighter instead of he overweight kid I was. BloodRayne reminds of that game just because it is very simple, and I imagine very fun to act in, yet in all reality not very good.

BloodRayne, based on a video game, is about Rayne, played by Kristanna Lokken (Terminator 3), a half-human, half-vampire, or dhampir, who is trying to hunt down the man who raped and murdered her mother, Kagan, played by Ben Kingsley (Ghandi), who happens to be her father.

If I was that 13 year old boy, I would love this movie. It has all of the ingredients that make it fun. There are lots of bloody fights, arms getting chopped off and such; its very D & D like with vampires and sword fights and magic; and the best part, quite a bit of nudity, including the lead actress Kristanna, and may I say she has a fine pair of yum yum's. But unfortunately I am older and I expect more out of my movies.

The story is the main problem and I understand that any movie based on a video game is going to have issues with depth of character and so on. However, this movie has almost no conflict of any kind, be it between the characters, the stories or what have you, no real conflict of any kind. This translates into a very boring story. I would have liked to have seen the betrayal by one of the characters much earlier and not so obvious. The problem with the betrayal was that you know who it will be fairly quickly but, its not huge and only are hero finds out, not the other two main characters who would be hurt by said betrayal, hence no conflict. Another area that could have lead to conflict would have been if the other two main characters saw the BloodRayne kill the betrayer, therefore creating mistrust and again conflict. But that didn't happen either and the story suffers for it.

The only comment I can make on the acting is that I am shocked that veteran actors Michael Madsen, Billy Zane, and especially Ben Kingsley are in this film. I am really surprised at Kingsley. If you add this movie to last years horrid film A Sound of Thunder, and you have two movies that Kingsley should have used the film to wipe his ass. So I hope he fires his agent and gets him in some movies that are much more to his caliber, like a Munich or a Syriana. As for the rest of the cast, they are young and are perfect for this movie, they need the work, and this isn't a terrible movie, just not very good. Directing this movie was Uwe Boll, who has brought us such classics House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark. What were the producers thinking, what were they smoking, and how illegal is it?

The cinematography is very nice and the look of the film is quite good. But that is one of only a few things that I can say is good about a movie that is a 13 year old wet dream. I won't even say that it could have been better because the writing pretty much counts that out. I wish to say to screenwriter Guinevere Turner that you need to put the pen down when it comes to fantasy and stick to what you do well, I have no idea what that is, but lets hope you do.

I won't tell you to see this movie but if I find in a $5 bin or have the opportunity to get it for free on a buy one get one scenario, I probably will take it home just to have Kristanna Lokken's tits in my collection, they are pretty good to watch, maybe the only thing to watch.

Brian - the Naked Gun