Dickie Roberts:
Former Child Star
reviewed by Brian "the Naked Gun" Felts &
Benn "Where's the Humanity?" Farrell
The movie is about a former child star who is trying to make a comeback into Hollywood,
just like every other former child star. So, in order to get a part in a Rob Reiner directed movie,
played by Rob Reiner (Ed TV), Dickie Roberts, played by Spade (TV's Just Shoot Me), hires a family to learn
how to be a kid again.
In order to get the part, Reiner tells Dickie he needs to learn
how to be a normal kid, so Roberts moves in with a family for one month. The family is a
standard Hollywood suburban family; George Finney the dad, played by Broadway actor Craig Bierko (The 13th Floor),
Grace Finney the ever-so-attractive mom, played by Mary McCormack (Private Parts), and Sam and Sally the
kids, played by Scott Terra (Daredevil) and Jenna Boyd (The Missing). Of course, the family is loaded with strife.
Dad is never home
and neglecting the kids, not supportive of the wife's attempt at a new career.
Enter the hero Dickie. He helps Sam flirt with the pretty girl next door, helps Sally
make the dance squad at school and show Grace what a real man is like. In the end,
George runs off with Dickie's girlfriend, played by ultra hot Alyssa Milano (TV's Charmed).
Dickie gets the part in the movie, and the family is left without a dad or husband. But wait. Of
course, it's Hollywood, so Dickie decides not to do the movie and goes back to celebrate
Christmas with the family. The end…yea!
As you can tell, I did night like the story. From the time Dickie moves into the house, you
could have guessed the ending. There are no plot twists, and over all, it's a standard Spade
movie. However, by saying that, there are quite a few humorous scenes which make the movie watchable.
The scenes including a cast of real life former child stars playing themselves--too many to mention--is hilarious.
The best scene is the opening, when Dickie is in a televised celebrity boxing event and gets his
ass kicked by Emmanuel Lewis (TV's Emmanuel), f**king funny.
Over all, the movie is okay. It doesn't come close to Spades' movies with Farley, but "Dickie Roberts: Former Child
Star" is tremendously better than "Joe Dirt."
Brian - the Naked Gun
I sort of disagree with Brian's assessment of the picture, but not his statements about David Spade. I have truly disliked
every motion picture David Spade has starred in, except "Lost and Found." Whether it had Farley in it or not, if Spade received
name above title, I thought it resembled a stool sample.
"Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star," once it got past about the first 20 minutes of act two, was very funny, well timed
and extremely warm hearted. Brian is also right in Mary McCormack being a complete and total hottie. She really seems to
throw a lasso around Spade and make him focus on what's important in their scenes together, not trying to make himself
look funnier than he actually is.
Bierko had a standard performance, and the kids did fine for their ages. I'm excited to see both Terra and Boyd in projects
down the road, as they receive more training in their chosen crafts.
I definitely felt "Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star" was a hundred times better than anything else Spade has starred in for
the big screen, period. Scenes with child stars playing themselves were a flat out riot, including Barry Williams
(TV's The Brady Bunch), Danny Bonaduce (TV's The Partridge Family), Corey Feldman (The Goonies),
80's pop rock star Leif Garrett and--my personal favorite--Dustin Diamond (TV's Saved By the Bell).
This is the only title connected with Spade I am proud to have in my DVD collection. The disc has a few great features,
including commentary with Spade and co-writer Fred Wolf, deleted scenes and Easter eggs with pretty funny outtakes. With
the exception of those 20 minutes in act two when Spade gets to act like an idiot, trying way too hard to be funny, the
film is a solid high concept comedy.
The film's end credit music video, resembling "We Are the World," involves as many former child stars the producers
could possibly find singing "Child Stars On Your Television," venting their disgust and anger with
an audience who throws them away from stardom, but refuses to leave them alone. This musical number alone is worth
the price of the DVD, and I'm sure Brian would back me up on that. Benn - Where's the Humanity?
I believe David Spade's career ended the day Chris Farley (Black Sheep) was found dead
on the floor. Most of Spade's movies are unoriginal, and his acting is only good enough
for 30 minutes at a time. This is why the TV shows he's cast in are funny. Occasionally,
he has a nugget of funny mediocrity, which is what "Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star" IS...funny mediocrity.