In the last few years, there have been many T-its and A-ss movies made for 12 to 18 year old males. Many have been good. Some have been okay, and I am sure a lot have been horrible. One such movie in the horrible category is the movie "The Girl Next Door." The fault does not lie with the actors or director but solely on scriptwriters Stuart Bloomberg, David Wagner and Brent Goldberg.

The story is about Matthew Kidman, played by Emile Hirsch (Emperor's Club), a nerdy senior class president in high school with a drop dead gorgeous woman, Danielle, played by Elisha Cuthbert (Love Actually), who moves in next door to watch the house her aunt owns.

The first night she moves in, Matthew watches Danielle undress in front of her window from his room, and she catches him. He goes over to his house and instead of telling his parents what he did, she invites him to go for a ride. During that ride, we discover Matthew is about to graduate from high school, and he has done nothing in his high school life except school.

They fall in love after that first date. She convinces him to be a badass, and he finds out from his friend she is a porn star. He tries to treat her like one by having sex with her in a cheap motel, but eventually she finds out he knows, leaves him, goes with this sleezy producer guy to Las Vegas and get back in the biz. So, Matthew goes after her to convince her not to. He eventually does, and she comes back to Matthew. However, the producer dude frames Matthew, and he will go to jail unless Matthew can save the day.

Now, after reading all that, you must be saying to yourself, "Wow, that's a lot of information to give in a short amount of time." Well, that is exactly what happens in movie. Everything I just explained happened in 25 movie minutes. That is not good writing.

The acting was okay as was the directing, but they had a script which was just so poorly written by three guys, you didn't care what was going on. The DVD has lots of deleted scenes, but they don't help explain anything either. I don't know what they were trying to write, but it sure wasn't a movie.

The only reasons why this doesn't get the worst rating is, I wasn't expecting much, and it fulfilled my expectations completely. There are a few heart felt moments created by the director and actors which made me smile. The T & A wasn't to bad, and I give kudos to Cuthbert who never showed her tits. I didn't even realize it until after the movie was over.

If you don't see this movie, you are going to be better for it.

Brian - the Naked Gun