Its movies like these that test my patience with my loyalty to a movie franchise. Halloween 5 is a blatant rip off of the Friday the 13th movies that it should have been called Friday the 13th Part 7: Guest appearance by Michael Myers. The movie franchise should have ended with 4, well, one really, but they just kept making them and making them. The producer of the Halloween franchise Moustapha Akkad should de deported back to Syria for continuing to bore us to death and turning a great bad guy character into just another slasher killer.

So this installment picks up where the last one leaves us, Michael Myers is shot with a million guns and falls down a mine shaft that some how has an exit near a creek. He falls into the creek and is going to get washed away until he gets caught in a hermits net, who nurses him back to health for a year. After the year, Myers wakes up and starts killing again trying to get his niece Jamie, once again played by Danielle Harris (Last Boy Scout) who has been sent to a hospital because she attacked her step-mother with a knife at the end of the last movie. She now seems to have a psychic connection with her Uncle and he uses it to find her.

This movie is as bad as it sounds. The stalking, menacing, feeling created in the first one is now just a bloody slasher picture. There are other changes too. Michael Myers house was a small two story house that was rundown and was square. In this movie it has a basement, three stories, and tier that looks like a castle, all rounded and pointy at the top. Are we just forgetting the first movie ever existed or what? F*ck You Akkad!!! It's just a waste of time effort and money. They even killed off my favorite actress from the 4th movie in the first 20 minutes of the movie.

The little girl, who wasn't annoying in the last movie even though she screams a lot, is now incredibly annoying and she doesn't say a word. She just shakes a lot whenever she can see Michael killing somebody. I sometimes wonder if it is wise to give non-speaking parts to child actors because I wonder if they can pull it off. This movie is a testament to the fact they can't.

What was with the last f*cking scene in the movie. So Michael is captured and in jail, the little girl is outside in a police car, and this dude with a long black coat and a tattoo on his wrist on some kind comes walking in, blows all the cops away with a gun, and kidnaps Myers out the back door. What the f*ck? Who is this guy? We seem him following Loomis, once again portrayed by the incredibly old Donald Pleasance, around the old/new Myers house but why bring him into it. Do we need to completely change what the original movie was all about? It just blows.

Well, in conclusion, this movie is pure horse sh*t. I can not believe it was made and wish it hadn't been. The worst part of all is that they not only made a sequel to this movie, but it was actually worse than this movie. Fortunately the director of this festering boil on the a** of horror movies, Dominique Othenin-Girard, has been stuck in television since 1996. He should be forced to where a sign in the middle of Baghdad that says, Saddam Hussein corn holes Osama Bin Laden every night. Now that would be an interesting horror movie.

Brian - the Naked Gun