It's been a while since I have done a short review just because I feel I would be cheating the reader. But sometimes movies suck so bad and are so predictable that giving the movie a thoughtful review is not fair to me because the people who created the movie didn't think about you so why should I give them the same consideration. So, I will say that the only reason to see this movie is Jessica Alba and her body.

So Paul Walker(Fast and the Furious) does a bad job portraying Jared, a loser who pretty much has nothing to live for except a sinking boat and a delusional, yet very hot girlfriend named Sam, played by Jessica Alba (Fantastic Four.) Both of them along with two incredibly stupid friends go treasure hunting, since they are in the Bahamas, that's what people do, and may have found a 200 year old sunken ship. Oh, and a airplane that crashed in the water with enough Cocaine to fill Robert Downy Jr.'s prescription for life. So the four have to fight the drug smugglers, other treasure hunters, and corrupt policemen, who all work for each other by the way, to try and get this sunken ship. Wee!

Yes, well, this movie sucks. Speaking of sucking, let's talk about Paul Walker for a second. I have seen things floating in a toilet bowl that act better than him. I was so tired of seeing close-ups of his incredibly cut body that I was violently ill, and that was after the first five minutes.

The only redeeming thing about this movie is that for at least three quarters of the movie, Jessica Alba is in a bikini, and there are some shots of her underwater that make me think that the only way you can see more of her skin is if she does a nude scene in a movie, or you are dating her. The director must have known that she was his only commodity and he used it well.

The script is so ridiculous and unbelievable that I just can't talk about it in a positive way so I won't talk about it at all. Safe to say that I can't imagine writer Matt Johnson doing another movie ever again. By the way, this is the same ass that wrote the incredibly horrible movie Torque. That should tell you how bad this movie is and how unbelievable the story became.

To sum up, movie sucks, Paul Walker sucks, and Jessica Alba continues to be ultra f*cking hot. This movie will be in my collection, once it hits a pawn shop and I can get it for $4, and I will just fast forward to the scenes with Alba swimming in the ocean. However, if you don't find her attractive, I suggest you go get circumcised because that will make your life just as rewarding.

Brian - the Naked Gun