Brian Felts Benn Farrell







Man of the House
reviewed by Brian "The Naked Gun" Felts

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I have to be honest. This movie really isn't that good. The plot is so-so. There is no character development what-so-ever, lots of second stories, sub-plots started but never resolved, and it was pretty cheesy. However, there are five hot girls wearing hardly anything, dancing and jumping a lot, and of course, Tommy Lee Jones is quite humorous playing the stone faced cop. I like this movie, but it's not good.

The story is about this Texas Ranger named Roland Sharp, played by Tommy Lee Jones (The Missing), who is protecting five cheerleaders from the University of Texas. They witnessed the murder of Sharp's informant, who was to testify against some big powerful loser guy. The girls all live in a house together, and Roland moves in until the guy who shot the informant is caught. So begins the tangled web of five modern girls living with an old fashioned "house mother" with a gun.

The best scene in the movie is when the six of them are at the dinner table. The girls are eating their health food, while Sharp is eating the pizza he ordered. This is the funniest part of the movie, as banter between the girls and Sharp is written well. Tommy Lee Jones' deadpan line delivery, similar to his character in the movie "The Fugitive," is what makes this scene work and the rest of the movie bearable to watch. The last scene included a Texas-Western-style showdown which was also kind of cool in a haven't-seen-it-in-a-long-time sort of way.

The five girls who played the cheerleaders were all quite beautiful. However, Hillary Swank will not have to worry about competing for future best actress awards against any of them. The cheerleaders were all very stereo-typically written, which made them enjoyable to watch physically, but annoying to listen to. The most enjoyable of the five were Evie, played by Monica Keena (Freddy vs. Jason), and Anne, played by Christina Milan (Be Cool). The other three weren't bad, but I enjoyed those two the most.

The problems I had were quite obvious. Many sub-plots were started but never finished, never developed; just "Wham bam thank you, mam." Just to name a few...

  1. Roland started a relationship with a teacher, Molly, played by Anne Archer (Patriot Games) and all though it was completed subplot, it went from a "Who are you?" to a "Let's get married" in about five movie minutes.
  2. One of the girls was a horrible student and committed academic fraud by copying the professor's 20 year old paper and turning it in as her own. Instead of getting kicked out, which would have happened, she is told to write her own paper. We do not get to see any of her struggles, the success of writing her own paper or the joy of getting a good grade. We just watch her say she can't do it. Tommy Lee Jones tell her about the assigned book. She leaves it for him to read, and Jones says, "Yeah it's a good story."
I know I am thinking too much on what is essentially a t**s and a** movie, but it seemed like the director and writer didn't even try to make it work.

Stephen Hereck (RockStar) directed the story, and did nothing wrong by letting Tommy Lee be Tommy Lee. However, he did nothing right by letting the story go too long in some spots and too choppy in others. Scriptwriters Robert Ramsey, Matthew Stone and John Mclaughlin (Intolerable Cruelty) did a horrible job in writing this story. There was no continuity, and either nothing was finished or finished to fast. Maybe this was the editor's fault, but I doubt it. These men should be forced to sit through 1000 showings of the musical "Rent" as penance.

This movie is not good. However, because we get to see lots of jiggling and Tommy Lee Jones being funny, go ahead and watch it, but for nothing else.

Brian - the Naked Gun

For the most part, if Tommy Lee Jones wasn't speaking, the movie wasn't worth a damn. I agree with Brian saying all the giggling and exposed midriffs make this picture far better than without it.

Cedric the Entertainer (Barbershop) was present for a couple of laughs, but not even close to enough to make this movie going experience worth recommending.

My personal favorite of the five cheerleaders was Milian as Anne as well. This is the girl's second picture to release in the last three weeks, and I look forward to a bunch more. She has a cute face, sass and a petite body which won't quit. She's flat out awesome to look at. Was she any good as an actress? She'll have a pay a few more dues for me to comment in that regards.

As for the picture, filmmakers did well to bone up Tommy Lee's character with inner conflict regarding his daughter and their lack of connection. I also appreciated how the picture could have used so many cliched twists, like the involvement of an FBI imposter. Instead, we are allowed to know the imposter's role, and follow his objectives as a character.

I found the sequence between Tommy Lee trying to have a date with Anne Archer, with help of his young live in temporary roommates. It was extremely cute. However, on the same note, since Tommy Lee's character was set up as this die hard, by-the-book cop, Roland going out of his way to create a romantic evening in the "safe house" was completely unbelieveable.

The picture overall was not inspiring, but Jones' presence created a lot of laughs. I giggled at nearly everz line the man had to deliver. He and the young attractive women keep this picture alive. Other than that, the movie belongs in the toilet.

Benn - Where's the Humanity?