reviewed by Brian "The Naked Gun" Felts & Benn "Where's the Humanity?" Farrell
So this movie stars Matthew McConaughey (Tiptoes) as Dirk Pitt, a former navy seal as a ocean treasure
hunter looking for a Civil War Ironclad that made its way across the Atlantic at the end of the war hauling
a boat full of gold coins. It makes its way to Africa and then disappears. Along the way he runs into Eva
Rojas, played by Penelope Cruz (Gothika,) who is a W.H.O. doctor looking for the cause of a virus that is
quickly killing people in the county of Nigeria. Rojas runs into trouble when she traces the disease to the
neighboring country of Mali and Pitt has to go and save her, solve the origin of the disease, and find the
Ironclad.
When the author of the book that this movie is based sues the producers of the film that is usually
a sign of how bad it could be. Clive Cussler, who wrote the book of the same name, is suing the producers
and the movie company because the story is so different than the book, he didn't want it released.
There are only two good things about this movie and the rest is utter monkey feces. One, about
every ten minutes Penelope Cruz bends over in her tank top and you get to see her cleavage. Two,
the comedy relief, Al, played by Steve Zahn (Saving Silverman,) was terrific and the only other
reason to pay attention to the rest of the movie. He was funny and he even made unfunny lines funny.
I think anyone else could have done better at Dirk Pitt than that crack addict McConaughey. At times
he seemed to be stumbling around with his acting, his lines, and his stunts. Even Ben Stiller would
have been a more believable ex-navy seal than this ass clown. I haven't like McConaughey since he
was in "A Time to Kill" and that was years ago. Hey Matt, stay away from the crack!
My advice to you is to wait until "National Treasure" comes out on DVD and skip this one. You may
miss Penelope's breasts and Zahn's jokes, but you won't have the desire to throw human excrement at
the movie screen.
Brian - the Naked Gun
This movie definitely challenges the concept of possible versus plausible. An action sequence may not be plausible, but it at least needs to be possible for me to buy into it. This picture fails at that on many occassions, especially in the second half. The first half of the picture, I really enjoyed the storyline and the characters. There was enough material to satisfy my ability to suspend disbelief, but when the second half rolled around, I and the believability factor of the picture were lost. As for Clive Cussler's complaints, I must defend the picture. After speaking to two different readers of the book "Sahara" was based on, I do not think Clive Cussler has any room to be pissed off. According to fellow DockRat Entertainment producer Scott Bechberger (In the Darkness), who read the book, Cussler's novels are notoriously as preposterous as this film was. In fact, many of the scenes I had the MOST problems with sound like they're nearly taken exactly from the novel. I was also informed that Cussler inserts himself in every book as a reoccurring walk on character. In the book "Sahara," Pitt met up with his character in the desert, learning "Cussler" is also searching for the Ironclad. However, producers decided to cut Cussler from the film, and THAT's probably why the author is pissed. It makes me laugh. With the exception of there being only two W.H.O. doctors instead of ten, like the book, and the removal of the "gold mine" subplot from the original book, it sounds like "Sahara," the film, resembles much of the novel. I think, from the sounds of it, the filmmakers actually made a fair depiction of Cussler's work. However, I now know, I DO NOT like Cussler's work if it includes scenes THIS physically impossible. I guess, if you like Cussler, you should enjoy this picture to SOME degree. As for me, by the time the credits rolled, I was not surprised. It was simply one of THOSE Hollywood action movies I always blast on this site and to everyone who asks me. I should've gone to see "The Pacifier." Oh well. Someday I'll learn. Benn - Where's the Humanity?
Boy was this movie a joke. I can suspend reality with the best of them but sometimes movies ask too
much. "Sahara" is a movie that takes the special effects too far and in the end it leaves you pretty
much in pain.