A new FOX TV reality special, "When Action Directors Make Movies Horrible!" featuring Michael Bay and his movie The Island, or also known as "Yet another reason why Michael Bay should be banned from making movie." So obviously I did not like this movie and it's because Michael Bay sucks. Maybe it's because every choice he made in this movie was so horrible a first year film student could have done better.

The Island is it about a man, Lincoln Six Echo, played by Ewan McGregor (Star Wars movies,) who discovers that he is not a man but a clone of another person who had him made as a insurance policy incase the donor has something happen too him. He discovers this and wants to save his friend Jordan Two Delta, played by Scarlett Johansson (Lost in Translation) who has been picked to go to The Island, a fictional paradise they tell the clones they are going when their donor needs body parts.

Now for the good things. Scarlett Johansson is really hot, scary hot. Hmmm, not much else is good except for that. I won't blame the actors because I think they did a pretty good job considering the direction they were given. This is one of those rarities where the actors are not to blame for the poorness of this movie.

Michael Bay is the reason this movie sucks the balls of small collies. Every choice is bad and hurts the movie. For example, fifteen minutes into the movie, after watching Lincoln break rules to go into restricted areas to find his friend McCord, played by Steve Buscemi (Fargo), Lincoln is sent back home and we get to watch McCord go do his job which shows the audience that they are using clones to harvest people and that Lincoln is a clone. It would have been much better for the dramatic effect if Lincoln had discovered this on his own and become confused with McCord helping him out. Sure the writer has something to do with it but the director could have changed things to help the drama of this movie. But no, Bay wants to blow things up and his no time to worry about details like plot and logic, lets just blow some s**t up.

Speaking of drama Bay was clueless on how to set everything up. The final scene after the clones escape their lair and find themselves free, even though they have no idea that they are clones so they would be completely unaware what happened, Bay uses a camera shot from a helicopter to make sure and miss every emotion that the clones would have in expressing their happiness about freedom. No, its much better to be as far away as possible going really fast so the audience has no chance of seeing any emotion what so ever. Michael Bay has lost all possible talent he may have had and now is crap.

I just can't recommend this movie. I would have loved to have seen a director with talent approach this movie. Yes, it is political in that it addresses the cloning issue and some of the stories for me resemble Blade Runner, but in the hands of this director, he could turn Schindler's List into Charlie's Angels. Avoid it at all costs, or you run the risk of wanting to hammer a nail into your skull.

Brian - the Naked Gun