"Torque" is about this former drug runner named Ford, played by Martin Henderson (Bride and Prejudice), who hides a bunch of drugs and steals a couple of choppers from this drug lord/motorcycle enthusiast named Henry James, played by Matt Schulze (The Transporter). That's right, Henry James. So Ford high tails is to some Asian country so let things lay low, that is until he misses his tough girl lover interest named Shane, played by Monet Mazur (Just Married). That's right, Shane.

That's actually all backstory. Ford returns and hooks up with a couple old biker friends. I have a tough time even calling them bikers since they're riding crotch rockets, while only the bad guys are riding Harley Davidson bikes. I'm sure any "real world" Harley Davidson biker would rather die than profess a Suzuki rider an actual "biker." None-the-less, I digress.

Ford also has a run in with a fierce biker gang, AGAIN riding crotch rockets, led by Ice Cube (Barbershop). I KNOW their gang was fierce, cause they were dressed in black and their lips were always snarling. Since EVERYONE who performed in that gang had the same lip problem, I am going to guess Cube and his co-stars like Faizon Love (Friday) were told to give their characters such a ridiculous attribute by the director.

Eventually, Ford is set up after the greasy Harley biker overlord kills Cube's brother and provides a witness saying it was Ford. Ford goes on the run with his friends and love one, until he can gather the evidence he needs to provide evil Harley man is the culprit.

However, more conflict comes when the male FBI agent, who obviously wasn't living by any agency policy and looking like he never combed his hair after getting out of bed that morning, chasing Ford, proves to be partners with greasy Harley dude; like THAT wasn't completely predictable. Actor Adam Scott (The Aviator) gave us SO little inner dialogue, we were only left knowing he was IN on everything.

The acting in this stain on the underwear of Hollywood was absolutely piss poor. I completely blame director Joseph Kahn-"Torque" is his only credit EVER), since most people in this movie, whom I've seen before, has done very nice thoughtful work. As for "Torque," actors weren't instructed to give ANY thought to the moment, nor where their characters were coming from. Thus, the picture already has NO heart.

Director Kahn's shot selection chose SO many obtuse close shots, I very sick every time a character stuck a key in their bike's ignition. Every time I heard a bike start up, I got naseau, knowing I was in for a visual cluster-f**k.

What made me most uncomfortable was the defiance of physics, typical among Hollywood crap action pics like this one. Characters were depicted fighting on their bikes--screw that, I'll just say cycles--even though they would never be able to physically. In the climactic chase, which for this movie is an oxymoron, Ford chases down greasy Harley dude on some silver crotch jet, which goes from 0-200 mph in ten seconds.

I have news. IF there was a cycle with that ability in existence, a person would physically not be able to remain on the back of it. However, Ford manages to not only ride 200 MPH down a busy traffic street, he catches up to the villain and they begin to fist fight each other, WHILE STILL TRAVELING AT 200 MPH!!!!!

Does anyone realize, with the weight of a man on a cycle like that, if the cycle had wings, he probably would've been able to fly, literally.

It disgusts me to realizes some talentless directors are out in Hollywood creating horrible sequences like this. Why? Because they have no other alternative. They have NO grasp on the human condition, so they fill their pieces of s**t projects with purely physics-defying spectacle. Most movies like this will at least give the characters a backstory, explaining how they MAY be capable to performing such feats. "They were all former Navy Seals," would be one example I've heard before, but in "Torque," there was NO backstory given about them except they ride cycles.

If these people are drug users, their coordination would be failing them miserably. They would not be able to do a backwards leap, from a sitting position on a high speed cycle, onto a cycle behind it in pursuit. That was actually a scene in the movie, where I had to stop the disc to catch my breath, saying choice intellectual phrases like," ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING ME!!!???"

If defiance of physics and no believability is your thing in movies, than "Torque" is for you. If you actually enjoy watching a solid concept, good acting, good writing and a thoughtful director's work, as well as not having to run to the toilet every other scene cause of the movie's material, than stay WAY clear of "Torque." I'm not absolutely sure, but when I simply passed by the DVD on the rental shelf, I smelled a very odd and distinct odor. I'm not sure if it was THIS one or "Fast and the Furious."