Troy
reviewed by Brian "The Naked Gun" Felts & Benn "Where's the Humanity?" Farrell

After the movie Gladiator, I expected to see more movies about ancient times. Troy is the first to follow Gladiator but is not as good as its predecessor and I have a hard time believing Brad Pitt as an action hero stud. But I still liked this movie and at the right price will find its way into my movie collection.

Troy is based on Homer's Iliad about the great battle between the Greeks and the Trojan's at Troy and of course the Trojan Horse. The Greeks are led by its morally questionable king Agamemnon, played by Brian Cox (The Bourne Supremacy,) and their great military leader, Achilles, played by Mr. Jennifer Anniston, A.K.A. Brad Pitt (Ocean's 12.)

By the way, I would like to thank Angelina Jole for supposedly fucking Brad Pitt and pissing off Jennifer to the point where she may divorce him. Way to be a whore Angelina, all of us men love you. Back to the review.

In the other corner, we have the Trojans, led by their military hero Hector, played by Eric Bana (Hulk, Black Hawk Down,) and his brother who is the catalyst for the war, Paris, played by Orlando Bloom (Pirates of the Caribbean, Lord of the Rings trilogy.) He steals Helen, who is the wife of some annoying king in Greece that is brother to Agamemnon.

This movie to me is a guy movie, lots of action and violence and no real subplot other than some minor love interests. It's about war, and since it's directed by Wolfgang Peterson, who has directed such action films as The Perfect Storm and Air Force One, it is quite entertaining, but not ground breaking.

The acting is ok, I would have like to have seen Eric Bana in the role of Achilles, and I think he is going to be a great actor. Orlando Bloom is a wuss and I don't like him in this movie. Brad Pitt is rather uninspiring as Achilles, but Brad Pitt is as Brad Pitt does, so his acting was watchable.

Like I said I think this movie will eventually find its way into my movie collection at a discounted price. I love the action scenes but the acting is mediocre and the love stories are ignorable. So, if your are in the mood for violence, watch the movie.

Brian - the Naked Gun

I found this picture fairly enjoyable. The characters were well established. Motivations weren't entirely clouded, and there belief systems were clearly defined even though it was depicting an all but mythological time.

I thought the production design in the film was outstanding, but a little on the spaghetti side.

The dialogue was very well thought out and allowed characters to have unspoken moments, where actors must relay inner motivations to us without speech. Shakespeare would've been really upset. When Hector dies, had this been a Shakespeare tragedy, he would of droan on for an hour about the horrors of war before finally dying.

There were a lot of strong scenes in this work which I thought couldn't be beat visually. Achilles dragging Hector's body behind his chariot across the sight of his father, Priam, King of Troy. Savage and cool.

I also liked seeing half the supporting cast of "Braveheart" show up for little parts among all the Trojans, Spartans and other Greeks.

The performances were pretty top notch. Eric Bana (Black Hawk Down) as Hector was extremely strong, as was Peter O'Toole (Lawrence of Arabia) as Priam, and Brian Cox (The Boxer, Rob Roy) as Agamemnon.

Brad Pitt (The Mexican, Seven) as Achilles had several solid moments, but overall I felt his performance lack. I have to wonder why he was the only male character of strength who did not have stubble. Was it in Pitt's contract he has to maintain the babyface women and some guys have come to fall for? Probably. Is it cause he was representing a character who has reached near god status in Greek mythology, and he must LOOK god like? Probably not. Pitt simply didn't LOOK real to me, while the rest of the fighting males in the picture did.

Wolfgang Peterson called the shots as director (The Perfect Storm, In the Line of Fire). He definitely knew how to focus on the picture's strengths, but overall, visually there was nothing to jump up and down about. Peterson's best work was within casting the picture.

Screenwriter David Benioff (25th Hour) again gave so much opportunity to let actors create characters and work their unspoken abilities. Several moments could have been ruined with a stupid quip or philosophical statement of some kind. Benioff simply let moments speak for themselves. Quality.

Overall, I was impressed with "Troy," without hahing too many problems with its telling. I feel confident saying it is worth seeing.

Benn - Where's the Humanity?