Brian Felts Ultraviolet (2006)
reviewed by Brian "The Naked Gun" Felts

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Dir. Kurt Wimmer
Writ. Kurt Wimmer
Act. Milla Jovovich, Nick Chinlund

Wow, how many more horrible action movies with a female lead will Hollywood continue to make? I don't understand the allure of wasting millions of dollars on movies that are obviously bad. Even if it is to get people experience, why waste all the money? Why not make a small film so that if it is a colossal f*ck up then so what, not a whole lot of money lost? Oh well, more pain for me to endure I guess.

Violet, played by Mila Jovovich (Resident Evil), is a vampire type creature that became one by becoming infected by some kind of virus. She is sent on a suicide mission to capture a weapon that is supposed to kill all of her kind. The weapon turns out to be a child, a clone actually, of the leader Daxus, played by Nick Chinlund (Tears of the Sun), of the evil government who wants to infect the human population with a different virus so they would be forced to rely on the government for the cure, which they already have stockpiled.

The biggest problem of the many is that there is no real story to follow. I can't understand the motivations of any of the characters because they seem to change with each scene. It's not confusing to follow there just is nothing to follow. The movie does not seem to have a reason to be made other than for Jovovich to dress hot and kick lots of PG-13 ass. Which is the worst idea ever, but I still need more than that to justify $9 for the price of the ticket.

Milla is very hot and she is very athletic. Yes, she is fun to watch. However, I have already seen her hotness kick ass in movies like "Resident Evil 1 and 2," and "The Fifth Element," why do I need to see it in a movie without a plot, story, character development, reasoning, passion, common sense, and any remoteness of enjoyment? She doesn't get naked, thank you PG-13, so there is no point to this movie.

The special effects were VERY mediocre. The beginning scenes looked like they were one-step above the 80's movie "Tron." The effects did get better as the movie went but they won't make forget about anything that can qualify as good special effects. I also thought the fight scenes were too staged and not very real. Milla looked good in the fight scenes, but at no time did the look real.

"Ultraviolet" will soon be forgotten much like "Catwoman" and "Elektra." I am also getting sick and tired of these action movies with a purpose, what I wouldn't give to see some mindless carnage while the hero saves the daughter/son/wife scenario of the 1980's. Hollywood has already killed off the horror genre, and it appears that they are on their way to doing the same with the action movie. I can only recommend this movie to people who want to kill themselves and lack the motivation to pull the trigger, swallow the pill, and take that first step off the cliff, because this movie will provide you with that reason. I was ready to do all those things and I want to live.

Brian - the Naked Gun