***The review of this movie was a challenge from Brian to Benn.***

Believe it or not, this picture could have been good if it had just a couple of things different. For instance, if it had been written by Woody Allen, starring the Wayans Brothers, directed by the Cohen Brothers, a plot you could follow, decent characters, decent supporting cast and Prince no where to be found. "Under the Cherry Moon" is one of the most boring and hard-to-follow motion pictures ever to come out of the eighties.

"Under the Cherry Moon" is about these two homo-erotic friends, Chris and Tweaky--or something like that, who use their wooing power over women to take their money. Soon, they target Mary, a wealthy debutant who is poised to inherit all of daddy's riches.

Eventually, Chris--whom I thought was actually gay and simply hustling strait women--falls in love with Mary, which puts a strain on his relationship with Tweaky. Even though they aren't an item, Tweaky seems to be jealous.

In the end, the movie reveals itself to be a tragedy where Chris. looking to propose marriage, is shot dead by Mary's father's henchmen. Boo-hoo.

Prince--formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince, as Chris, has absolutely NO business being in movies, unless it is to play some wide eyed lesbian, cause that's what he looked like to me in this one. Kissing scenes between Mary, played by Kristen Scott Thomas (The English Patient), were so awkward and unbelievable, it killed whatever romance the picture was trying to create.

Prince as a director, after firing the original man calling the shots, is just as thoughtless. He chose so many shots with the sole purpose of emphasizing how contrived he can be when trying to look sexy, the entire picture was a joke.

The relationship between his character and Tweaky was way too open to interpretation, to where I couldn't figure out why Tweaky was so upset Chris fell for Mary. My only thought was they were gay and a couple previously, but there's nothing in the movie to base that on. Well, there's a couple scenes I'm basing that on. As a director, Prince simply focused on himself and let everyone else's inner dialogue and start points fall to the side, extremely selfish.

Cinematograher Michael Ballhaus, however, did a fine job with the black and white aspect of the picture. When Prince said, "Make me look prettier than my leading woman," Ballhaus delivered. Prince was the most beautiful women in the movie...hehe.

However, Ballhaus' work was cluttered with the movie's poor production design. It is a designer(s) job to allow sets and costumes to accent the picture. Obviously, no one involved with the design team cared enough to look at their choice with a black and white camera's eye. Characters were consistently lost and murky in the non-contrasting grey scale of their surroundings. One may say this is what Prince was going for, but I DO NOT believe Prince is that cinematically talented, so I must say that is bull s**t.

I like a lot of Prince's music. I respect many things he's doe with student musicians at his music school in Minnesota. However, the man doesn't belong making pictures, and since "Under the Cherry Moon" came out in 1986, and Prince has yet to follow up, I think he knows his place now.

Overall, this picture is painful beyond words; slow, unintelligent, cliched, sappy and completely overplayed to the point it qualifies as meldodrama. I would stay clear of this DVD the best you can. I have endured enough pain watching "Under the Cherry Moon" for this write up for everyone. Thank me.

Benn - Where's the Humanity?