I was once told that the reason we get so few foreign movies is that we only get the good ones, and the millions of crap made world wide get to stay home. Obviously this movie was one of the ones that jumped the border at El Paso and made into the movie theaters and rental places of America illegally. Because there is no way that anyone would allow this movie to legally come across the border. I would rather go down to Mexico City and drink a gallon of their water that comes from the tap, then watch this movie again. This movie is its own version of Montezuma's Revenge.

I'll be brief. Two kids who went to school together, one from the reasonably poor side and one from the reasonably rich side go on a trip to explore their sexuality with an older woman who may or may not be the girlfriend of a cousin. Anyway they both do her separately, they both do her together, and then they do each other. Wee. Do we need another homo-erotic exploring our sexuality movie in a language that most of us don't understand?

I will only mention the writer director of this refried crap, Alfonso Cuaron, who some how got to direct Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, which was decent. I do not want to see any movie of his again that has to do with life as a young boy in Mexico. I don't care. And do you know how to make me not care in an angry way? Shoot a scene where the two lead characters are masturbating on two diving boards over a swimming pool and then cut to a scene underwater where we are shown that they are done. Bodily fluids are not funny.

I do not care to talk about this movie anymore. If there were other messages in the movie they were overshadowed by the external secretions of the movie. I am going to go now and put my head in a microwave and turn it on high, to end the pain.

Brian - the Naked Gun

This title was requested by a reader.